Jan. 2nd, 2009

sticknick: (Kings Cross)
... and this guy's sayin', "Whadda ya want from me?'

So it's 2009 and my lame ass is sitting at work. My boss is going to be in today and I know he's going to be riding my ass to update a pile of crap I should have been updating this past week. The thing is, my heart is not in it. Not at all.

Right now I'm sitting here thinking back over last year, customers and their cases be damned. I would have to say it was full of extreme ups and downs. It started off amazingly and ended on a couple of super shitty notes.

2008 began with Tara and I expecting a wee bean - well, we'd been expecting since 2007 but the time was getting close at this point. There was also the whole debacle of moving us into the house and Sue and Mike out. While that whole week was stressful in ways you can only possibly imagine, when all was said and done Tara and I have managed to make the place feel a little more like ours. There is still a ways to go, but after eleven months I can say it pretty much feels like home.

There was no travel this year for us. Around November I said to Tara: "I know what is making me feel off this year, we haven't gone anywhere". And it was true. Every year since we moved in together, we have travelled somewhere. Keeping our feet firmly planted in Ottawa felt strange.

This, of course, was a small gripe considering that on March 24, 2008, Lily came into the world. Her birth was wonderful and the two weeks spent at the hospital now is a distant memory as she is growing into an awesome child. Every day she learns some new way to be cute and melt our hearts (and annoy the dog).

Speaking of awesome kids, this was a very cool year with Kailen. He spent half the summer with us and it was great. I can hardly believe that in two weeks he's going to be thirteen. Wow. Speaking with his mum, he's been doing better this year in regards to school and his general, all round attitude which is nice to hear. And he got to end the year with four days of snowboarding - and he loved it.

Last year really made me happy on the family side of things. I love Tara, Lily, and Kailen and would not change a thing. Even when in-law douchbaggery descends on us, we have each other and we put any and all crap out of our minds and remember that no matter what happens, in reality, it's all about the four of us and everyone else can simply fuck off.

Speaking of family, we hosted my folks 40th wedding anniversary this year and it turned out very well in the end. I still remember Mum seeing her Uncle John, who she hasn't seen in over 20 years, and she ran across the living room to hug him. It was nice to have friends and family gathered in one place for Mum and Dad. They were both touched and I'm glad we were able to do that for them.

This past June saw me actually get my drivers license, which was pretty cool. I no longer have to rely on Tara or the busses to get me places. As well, I can pitch in with driving long distances - such as The Unavowed's trip to Toronto. While my license is only a G2, I am now comfortable driving pretty much anywhere - Queensway included.

On the band front, we had a decent year. We played Ottawa and Montreal back to back in late May with Kintra from Montreal and Breadfan from Toronto. I still listen to the recording of the Montreal show as we were firing on all cylinders that night. In September we did Toronto and Ottawa in the same weekend. Our performance in Toronto was complete and utter shit, but it was fun seeing people out. In December we hit up Ou Quoi in Hull and that was a very decent night.

Of course, all this leads to the last month of the year. At Adobe in early December, they marched us into a back office one by one and informed us that we were all now on "transition". For me this meant as of May 1st, I would no longer be employed here. For everyone else it was pretty much the same thing; May 1st or June 1st. Gone.

I'm going to apply for other jobs, outside of Adobe, and as soon as the right one presents itself, I am out of here. Without question.

Christmas this year was sour as well. Yes, there was the whole incident with being uninvited from Christmas dinner but that paled in comparison to the fact my Mum had to be admitted to the hospital. She is currently awaiting surgery and has no idea when said surgery will actually take place. My poor Mum. She's been through so much over the past few years, she doesn't need any more. Hopefully this will be over soon and she won't have to deal with anymore of this crap.

As for 2009, well, I'm hoping it fares better than the tail end of '08. We do have a few things to look forward to such as a trip to Maine in July and Costa Rica in November (fingers and toes crossed on that - but I seriously do not want to miss that). As well, Kailen becomes a teenager this year (in two weeks no less) and that's pretty exciting as is the fact that Lily will be a year old in March.

As for resolutions I only really have two, one major and one minor.

The minor one is that I plan to get my full license this year, probably in the late summer. Having the G2 is cool, but I'd like to get it over and done with. So I'm shooting to take my G2 exit test sometime between August and October.

The major one is that I want to find a new job, like, now. I've already sent out a resume for at position that I want outside of Adobe, and I am actively looking as well. Thing is, I was considering working my ass off here with hopes that I could stay at Adobe in some other position, but I can't shake the feeling that we were lied to. I now know that this "re-org" was in the works for some time now, and they pinned it all on "economic times being what they are".


As much as I love this company and, up until now, don't regret a single day working here the taste this whole layoff has left in my mouth is more than bitter. I understand that business is business, but they flat out lied to us. So now I sit here dealing with cranky customers knowing that my position is gone in May and I simply cannot find enough strength to even bullshit the customer into thinking I actually care about their stupid issues. This is not healthy.

I do not want to spend the next five months dragging my ass to work and putting on a smile simply because there is a decent severance at the end. So I plan to find a new job and get out of here before it brings me down and I wind up in the same position I was when Tara and I met: unemployed and so bitter at the way I became unemployed that looking for a job was painful.

Ok, so they are are more goals that resolutions. Whatever. I'm taking this as the kick in the ass I need to get out of support and get on with something else.

In the end, I have precious little to complain about, job problems or no job problems. I love my family and the life we are carving out for ourselves. I love being able to be creative be it with the band, or learning video editing, or what have you.

In short, things are pretty damn ok and I plan on keeping them as such.

Hope you all had a great New Years! Here's to 2009 being excellent.

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